The Spark File with Susan Blackwell and Laura Camien

Menopause + Creativity

• Season 5 • Episode 14

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This week, we’re exploring an experience shared by more than half of the world’s population: Menopause. If you are thinking to yourself, “Oh, that topic isn’t for me.” We’re here to tell you the truth: menopause impacts everyone. If you have had a period in your life, or if you love a person who has had a period, this episode is for you. (Spoiler: that means it is for everybody.)

While the word itself might feel familiar, Menopause is deeply under-studied and continually misunderstood, even by medical professionals. And while we are definitely creativity coaches, decidedly not doctors, we’ve been sparked by lessons we’ve learned while navigating our own lived experiences.  Join us this week as we discuss the intense symptoms that can occur during menopause and how those symptoms can impact our lives—and yes, that includes impacts on our creativity! 

We’ll share some hard-earned wisdom from professionals working to increase awareness and from folks developing new tools and resources to help folks navigate the hardest parts of this often-ignored piece of our personhood and our health.

You can listen to The Spark File podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and directly on our website.

Doors are open for our transformational 6 month program, BLAZE. Our next cohort begins February 6. Get all the information you need HERE


The Spark File Podcast Transcript
Season 5, Episode 14: Menopause + Creativity

Susan Blackwell
Welcome to The Spark File, where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart creative people don't go it alone.

Laura Camien
I'm Laura Camien.

Susan Blackwell
And I'm Susan Blackwell. And we are creativity coaches who help people clarify and accomplish their creative goals.

Laura Camien
Hey, you should know that just by listening to this podcast, you are joining a warm and wonderful clan of creatives.

 Susan Blackwell
But, you may be asking yourself what exactly is a spark file?

Laura Camien
A spark file is a place where you consistently collect all your inspirations and fascinations. Every episode we're going to reach into our very own spark files and exchange some sparks, and from time to time we're going to talk to some folks who are sparkly and who spark us too.

Susan Blackwell
And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take some of those sparks of inspiration and make something of your own. So, without further ado, let's open up The Spark File. Oh, Laura.

Laura Camien:
Oh, Suze.

Susan Blackwell:
You know, as we were working through that introduction, I was like we are really, we are really reaching into our very own spark files today for this spark.

Laura Camien:
Yeah. I can’t wait.

Susan Blackwell:
This time it’s personal, Laura.

Laura Camien:
Did you reach deep?

Susan Blackwell:
I did.

Laura Camien:
Good, I can't wait. This is good.

Susan Blackwell:
Well you know I, there's a certain vulnerability that comes with sharing the spark that I'm about to share, and I will tell you that by I think I had some real hesitancy about going where I'm about to go in this spark, in the spark, because I'm like how does this reflect upon me? What are people going to think about? And I was by the end of it…I was like, fuck it. Fuck it!

Laura Camien:
Yes, oh, I'm proud of you. That's a big, that's a journey, and it's great to get on the other side of it. I'm so psyched.

Susan Blackwell:
It was a journey with a soundtrack provided by Journey. Okay, before we begin, I want to remind you, Laura, and you sweet listener, that I am not a doctor. Nothing shared today should be taken as medical advice. And a little content warning I'm going to touch on the topic of suicide.

Laura Camien:
Oh okay, I'm sorry I was giggling. Yeah, that's not, that isn't funny, that's okay. But I was thinking if you're getting your medical advice from the Spark File podcast. Best wishes to you.

Susan Blackwell:
Live and be well. So this episode...I'd like to dedicate this episode to anyone who has had a period in their lives, for anyone who loves someone who has had a period. So if you're listening to this podcast, I feel like this episode is for all of you.

Laura Camien:
You're talking everybody

Susan Blackwell:
If at first blush you might be like no, thank you. There's nothing I could possibly take from this episode of the Spark File podcast. Sit down.

Laura Camien:
Au contraire.

Susan Blackwell:
Shut up, sorry.

Laura Camien:
No, I would never say that.

Susan Blackwell:
I would say that this writing has emboldened me, so I'm going to try not to be a total dick.

Laura Camien:
I like it. You're spicy, Spicy Susan.

Susan Blackwell:
Makes me a little spicy. So here's a little story for you About six years ago. Six years ago, and I had to look it up, Laura.

Laura Camien:
Oh boy, six years ago.

Susan Blackwell:
I was at the gynecologist and at that time my only regular physician that I saw was my gynecologist. I didn't have a primary care doctor, just my gynecologist. I treated them as my primary care physician, so they—

Laura Camien:
Loved it, I bet.

Susan Blackwell:
So this gynecologist was new to me. She had inherited me when my gynecologist left the practice, and because I was then treating my gynecologist as my primary care physician, I told her how run down I felt and I even asked her if she was able to test me for Lyme disease. And she looked at me like I was crazy and said, no, I can't do that for you. And I remember being like I guess I'm an idiot for asking. But what she didn't do was ask me any follow-up questions, and I'm sure she was in the midst of her busy gynecological day and she is not incentivized to take that time to say, “So you're feeling really–” She's a gynecologist! “So you're feeling all these sorts, this cluster of symptoms…” so flash forward… you want to say something about it, Laura Camien.

Laura Camien:
I do. I do Because, yeah, they're not your primary care doctor, but the symptoms you're describing could easily fall into and I know you're about to tell us about it could fall into an area that would make sense in—

Susan Blackwell:
Her realm of expertise. That's exactly right. Yes, that's exactly right. That's why I'm feeling feisty about it.

Susan Blackwell:
Yes, so flash forward over the next several years. That rundown feeling sort of came and went and then in the last, I'm going to say two years, it really intensified and I experienced buckle up, overwhelming fatigue, waking up tired During the day, I experienced a lack of energy, lethargy. I was physically moving more slowly. I wanted to sit down frequently. I had a loss of interest in activities that I had previously loved. I had difficulty making decisions, difficulty absorbing information. I had been clinically depressed about 20 years prior and I took medication for it. But in the interim 20 years I have always been able to manage any bouts of mild depression with diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, meditation, therapy. But whatever this was, whatever I was experiencing now, was not letting up, even though I was proactively working out four to five times a week. I was getting consistent sleep, I was taking in sunlight. When I woke up, I was eating an anti-inflammatory, high-protein diet. I wasn't drinking alcohol. I wasn't taking caffeine. I was meditating two times a day.

Laura Camien:
Girl, I saw you throwing everything at this. Everything.

Susan Blackwell:
And it was not budging. So it became my project to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me and with other doctors, not just my gynecologist. I ruled out Lyme disease, I ruled out rheumatoid arthritis and I felt like I was losing my mind. I felt like I didn't know myself.

Laura Camien:
Susan, in that exploration because I remember you did go and do a bunch of tests. Did anybody name a thing that you haven't named yet today? Did anybody bring up the possibility of it being?

Susan Blackwell:
No. Nobody named it until I named it. Through all my little research and all my little, you know, self-study and inquiry, and it came into focus. It was what Laura just mouthed, but you couldn't see menopause, or perimenopause, to be exact.

Laura Camien:
I'm so mad.

Susan Blackwell:
Laura, you think you’re mad…

Laura Camien:
I'm so mad that none of those doctors were like hey, it could be this.

Susan Blackwell:
No, now, in fairness, I also have a bias. I have this internal I've said this before like I always think this internal concept of myself as a 15 year old boy, like I think–

Laura Camien:
I am just like I wouldn't have menopause.

Susan Blackwell:
How could I? But it's, it's like that. I think I've said this to you before. I remember when I got the call through my agent and they were like, oh, they'd like you to come in and do this episode of law and order. Um, they want you to play the judge on this episode. And I was like the judge, I couldn't, possibly. I'm too young to play the judge. Cut to me full robes like…gung gung.

Laura Camien:
But I'm only 15!

Susan Blackwell:
I'm a 15-year-old boy. How could I possibly play the judge?

Susan Blackwell:
But it was this. I wasn't even looking in that direction. Okay, but that's you.

Laura Camien:
These are professional medical professionals who can see that you are not a 15 year old boy and they might say hey, here's something we should explore.

Susan Blackwell.
Yeah, but no but no.

Laura Camien:
Oh my gosh, well…

Susan Blackwell:
We're going to get into it. Yeah, I've processed a lot of anger around this topic, but here we are, and so let's get into it, let's talk about what is menopause Because I'm going to be honest with you, I'm a grown woman and I still had so much to learn and things that I started to learn from friends friends who had gone through it who were like, hey, here's a hot tip. It wasn't from these doctors. So menopause occurs when a person's ovaries stop producing eggs and estrogen and progesterone levels decline. Technically, you've entered menopause when you haven't had your period for 365 days, one year without your period, and you're officially…welcome to menopause.

Laura Camien:
Mhmm.

Susan Blackwell:
So this can happen naturally, or it can be caused by surgery to remove the ovaries or uterus, cancer treatments like chemotherapy, or for a genetic reason. The transition to menopause is called perimenopause, and perimenopause can last for several years. I just want to take a moment to note that perimenopause would be a great drag queen or king name but I'm sure somebody's claimed it.

laughter

Susan Blackwell:
Okay, Anyone who has had periods can experience menopause. So most women experience menopause between the ages of 45 and 55, but it can happen earlier or later, and the average age in the United States is 51. And some transgender men, non-binary people and intersex people may also experience menopause. So there's a lot of people who may experience menopause, or menopausal symptoms, I should say. And some of those symptoms include and I'm going to sound like Roseanne-Roseannadana here. If you don't know who that was kids,

Laura Camien:
You’re too young for menopause.

Susan Blackwell:
Oh my God, that's amazing, Roseanne Roseannadana was a character that Gilda Radner played on Saturday Night Live. And she would be like my, this is my, that is my fa-da, fa-fa-da, Okay. That's what I'm going to sound like, but these are some of the symptoms Irregular periods that would be in perimenopause. Hot flashes, night sweats, difficulty sleeping, breast soreness, joint pain, muscle aches. Difficulty sleeping, breast soreness, joint pain, muscle aches, bloating, weight gain, tingling in your hands, feet or arms, decreased sex drive, vaginal dryness, brittle nails, loss of hair, dry skin, general itchiness, itchy ears, acne, headaches, dizziness, fatigue, anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, panic attacks, burning tongue, taste bud changes, gum and teeth issues, digestive issues, changes in body odor, bladder control issues, irregular heartbeat and electric shock sensations sensations in your body.

Laura Camien:
What.

Susan Blackwell:
That's right, Laura. That's right–

Laura Camien:
Wow!

Susan Blackwell:
And hold on, she's not done yet. Last November, an article came out of the Cambridge University Press over there in the UK. It was entitled “Severe Mental Illness and the Perimenopause.” According to this article, due to fluctuating and declining estrogen levels, people experience during perimenopause, some can experience anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, dissociation and anhedonia.

Laura Camien:
What’s that you say?.

Susan Blackwell:
Besides being another grade A drag queen name, anhedonia is the reduced ability to experience pleasure or interest in activities that were once enjoyable. It can manifest as a general lack of interest in life or as a more specific inability to experience pleasure from certain types of activities. Social anhedonia is a lack of interest in social interactions and relationships. For example, you may not want to spend time with others or get involved in dating or friendships. And physical anhedonia is an inability to experience pleasure from sensory experiences like touch, smell or sound. For example, you might no longer enjoy going out to eat or listening to live music.

Laura Camien:
Wow.

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, Laura, recently I sent you. Laura's been with me on this journey.

Laura Camien:
I've seen it.

Susan Blackwell:
Laura has been in the trenches with me. We're in there and I texted you recently. It was a post by Dr Mary Claire Haver.

Laura Camien:
Yep and it was her. Who is doing God's work.

Susan Blackwell:
She is, and she's taking heat for it too, because people are critical. Last week this article came out. Sorry, I'm off script here.

Laura Camien:
No, I want to know. What's she getting heat for?

Susan Blackwell:
Last week the New York Times published an article that was critical of Dr Mary Claire Haber because it said she is capitalizing on people going through menopause by selling supplements and promoting a diet for people to work on their visceral fat.

Laura Camien:
Excuse me?!

Susan Blackwell:
And I was like fuck all of you because medical I'll get to this in a second. One of the sources of my outrage is how little attention and medical research has been paid to people and menopause and perimenopause and I was like she is shining a light on it and if that's what it takes to move the needle.

Laura Camien:
How dare they say, “And now she and she shouldn't make money off of that.”  How many industries, and questionable characters have come in where they see an opportunity anywhere and they're selling people bullshit? And she's actually providing much needed information that is missing from what we're getting from the medical field.

Susan Blackwell:
The comment section on that New York Times article is really funny because people are like fuck that and fuck you. This woman has been a real Godsend for me and I understand some of the arguments that the doctors who are cited in the article. I understand some of the arguments they're making, but I was like the benefits that she's providing so far outweigh any of what her detractors are saying. Anyway.

Laura Camien:
Yeah, and also I just want to say okay, so medical—if you think medical field should be doing this, then step up.

Susan Blackwell:
Do better.

Laura Camien:
We won't need to look to other sources to, first of all, educate us on things that, like, we have been women all of our lives and the two of us are like how do we not know this? Oh my God, how do we not know this?

Susan Blackwell:
Because Laura, so little attention has been paid to this. It is nutrageous, it's absolutely insane. So I sent Laura a little Instagram post where Dr Mary Claire Haver was giving sort of an overview of this article from the Cambridge University Press and I was like…this comes the closest to capturing not to overstate it, but capturing how the struggle that I've been having for like the last two years. And I'm, you know, I'm loathe to admit it because it doesn't square with my view of who I am as a person.

Laura Camien:
Yeah, yeah.

Susan Blackwell:
I feel I've lived my life being, I guess, really drenched in estrogen and, as a happy byproduct of that, being optimistic and energetic and just really active and curious, and I was like, huh, well, this is, this is a, this is me too.

Laura Camien:
Yeah.

Susan Blackwell:
So coming to terms with that was was really um, naming it was was scary and helpful.

Laura Camien:
Yeah, yeah, but I–all of that makes so much sense to me, suze, because our identity, yeah, but all of that makes so much sense to me, Suze, because our identity, who we have known ourselves to be. And I had a period of that when I had back surgery.

Susan Blackwell:
Yes, yes!

Laura Camien:
But it was a little bit easier, you know, because I'd always been like, oh, I would do that, I would do that, and I found myself having to be like, no, I actually can't do that, or I better not do that, et cetera. But I had a tangible reason that others could point to and be like oh, right, right, right, you, just, you had back surgery. So, whereas…in menopause you're like well, to the outside world, you look like Susan, always been Susan. What's like? What's the problem?

Susan Blackwell:
Yes, and so in that Cambridge University article it states that in Britain the most likely time for women to die by suicide is between the ages of 45 and 49. And the authors of that article believe this is directly related to untreated menopause. And, Laura, you and I have talked about throughout history how women of a certain age it's sort of like, oh just-

Laura Camien:
Well, you know, what makes me livid  is lobotomies. There was a time where, like this is what we'll do We'll remove part of their brain. That ought to solve these issues.

Susan Blackwell:
Well, institutionalize them, will and…I live it, like, these symptoms are pretty extreme and I get like, if I'm sort of like I feel like I am losing my grip. I can imagine, if you know, if I was living in a Victorian times and my husband was like I'm not looking for all that, that's right.

Laura Camien:
That’s right, If you, if you were not able to fulfill your duties as a wife? And uh, do it without complaint. And if you were yeah, if you were married to the wrong person or someone who had just no empathy for what you're going through, or maybe you didn't have female friends that you could talk to about this, because it hasn't been a topic, that…

Susan Blackwell:
Yes, and we know just a tiny little bit now, but we know more than we did a hundred years ago, say so, it's….Okay, let me try to get myself together here because I feel like I'm just like fueled by rage. I want to stress that the symptoms that I just listed can be pretty extreme and there are some people who have had periods, who go through perimenopause and menopause and don't experience any or many of these symptoms. So because you've had a period doesn't mean that you're necessarily going to experience. But if you have experienced any of them with any frequency, for any period of time, you know how shitty that can be to inexplicably go from feeling vibrant and alive and creative to feeling differently.

Laura Camien:
That’s right.

Susan Blackwell:
And to further complicate and shitify things, as we just mentioned, there's an alarming lack of research and medical training around menopause, which is shocking given the number of people who will experience some of these life-changing symptoms. Laura, I have read repeatedly that most physicians today, today, receive only about one hour of instruction on menopause in their entire medical education. You heard me right. One hour.

Laura Camien:
And then you wonder why we went to Dr Mary for more information.

Susan Blackwell:
That's right. That's right, and no wonder my gynecologist couldn't connect. I feel run down, achy and tired with menopause.

Laura Camien:
Exactly.

Susan Blackwell:
This is from the New York Times, this is another…this is critical and um critical, and this threw a log on the fire of my rage. Back in 2002, the limited menopause care that existed was diminished even further. That year, researchers overseeing the country's first wide-scale study of health outcomes in post-menopausal women, known as the Women's Health Initiative, abruptly ended their trial of estrogen and progestin therapy after they saw a very small increase in breast cancer among some participants taking oral estrogen. The findings are now considered to have been overblown, but headlines about the study had a chilling effect on treatment. Nearly overnight, hormones fell out of fashion among menopausal women. By 2007, the number of eligible menopausal women taking them dropped from 40% to below 5%. Laura, I know that that just sounded like a dry passage from the New York Times, but what it meant was the people who are the subject matter experts, who are conducting the research and the studies. The Women's Health Initiative came out and said that if you take oral hormones, hormone replacement therapy, you run an increased risk of really life-threatening conditions. And literally overnight, women who had been receiving, who had been feeling real relief from those therapies, dropped them. Dropped them, like, overnight, and we now know that in healthy women the benefits of hormone replacement therapy outweigh the risk, and it is absolutely. I think about how I have I'm going to say it how I have suffered suffered. And I think about the relief that I have experienced by utilizing hormone replacement therapy.

Laura Camien:
Yes

Susan Blackwell:
And I'm like you are going to have to pull this out of my cold, dead hands. And when I talked to my gynecologist about it, I was just like I don't, I don't care, I don't care if I have an increased risk. Now this is very cavalier to say and for people that have been through cancer, breast cancer, like serious issues with blood clots you might be like…Susan you should care and I respect it and I'm just like the way that I'm living now is filled with so much suffering. Again, not to overstate it, I'm not a martyr, but I was just like this is no way to live. I need help.

Laura Camien:
Yes

Susan Blackwell:
And so it angers me. It angers me that they the research I feel like was skewed and the reading of it was skewed—

Laura Camien:
And then it just spread far and wide and repeatedly Like I know you and I talked about that I had never even thought of it as an option because my mom had breast cancer. She had it at 37 and then continued to have it off and on throughout her life, and it, you know, it spread to other parts of her body. And so it was just to me oh no, a hormone replacement. No, that's a no.

Susan Blackwell:
So I want you to know, Laura, there's a documentary I'm going to talk about in just a second. And in that documentary they specifically say…I don't talk about it in the Spark, but I want to say it to you now they specifically address, and I just want to remind everybody again, I'm not a doctor, but the doctor in the documentary states that because you have, like your mom, had breast cancer, it doesn't rule you out for participating in hormone replacement therapy if you should need it.

Laura Camien:
That's good to know. I had just always thought the risk was too high. I had just believed like I got a tiny piece of information many, many, many, many years ago and never got any further information, and so I just was like, oh, that won't be for me. If and when the time comes—

Susan Blackwell:
I still think it's a conversation you can still have with your doctor if you need it because you may not. You may not. So why am I talking about all of this on a creativity podcast?

Laura Camien:
Yeah, why Suze?

Susan Blackwell:
Well, for one reason I am a person who makes things from my lived experience, like this podcast. So I have this platform and I want to shout about this from the rooftops. If you are a menstruating person of a certain age and you start to feel off or you start to feel poorly, consider the possibility. It might be perimenopause, even if you are still getting your period. Your estrogen levels may be fluctuating or declining and that can make you feel unwell in strange and mysterious ways. So find a doctor who does have training and expertise regarding perimenopause and menopause and talk to them and learn what can be done. Another reason I want to share this is to acknowledge that these changes can impact and inform our creativity. Impact, as in I am still evolving. I am a different person/creative than I was 20 or 10 or even five years ago, and the things that I want to create when I was younger have definitely shifted. For instance, more and more I find myself wanting to paint, which isn't surprising to me, because sometimes brain fog, cognitive fatigue, word retrieval challenges can make me want to work in forms that don't rely so heavily on language.

Laura Camien:
Oh, that makes so much sense.

Susan Blackwell:
Right, I've joked with you for years, Laura. It's not a great joke and with due respect--

Laura Camien:
As far as Jokes go…

Susan Blackwell:
But I felt this change in my cognition and I would joke about my early onset Alzheimer's. But that was me observing my changing brain through the lens of humor. And now I know that a lot of that is because of decreasing and fluctuating hormones due to this change of life.

Laura Camien:
But the important takeaway there is that you noticed changes in your brain.

Susan Blackwell:
I did. Oh my God, Laura. Oh my God. I feel like you have been, whether you like it or not, listening to a travelogue about these changes in my brain for years now, and I have to say it was very helpful when all of this came into focus, because I was like, oh, maybe it is not early onset Alzheimer's, Maybe it is a cluster of symptoms around menopause. That being said. Just a little sidebar here. There is a connection between menopause and Alzheimer's that is being studied. Currently, two-thirds of all Alzheimer's patients are women. Just want to sidebar that and note it. I think that's interesting.

Laura Camien:
Wow.

Susan Blackwell:
Another way that my creativity. I feel like the change in my creativity is. I'm at this age where I want to. I have amassed a lot of experience and wisdom and I'm at an age where what I want to be doing is sharing that.

Laura Camien:
Oh, you like, come to life. You come to life, Susan. I watch it happen all the time. But it's like, um, the the opportunity to support a client, share wisdom, knowledge, ideas with a client. Like it is like a light bulb goes off and I can see that that is a place where you get creative joy and fulfillment.

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, so that's something you know that is informed by these changes that I'm experiencing.

Laura Camien:
Yeah.

Susan Blackwell:
I'm also seeing how it is informing the creativity of other artists, artists like Miranda July. This summer she published a novel called All Fours and in a story in The New York Times the headline read “She wrote the first great perimenopause novel.”

Laura Camien:
Wow yeah.

Susan Blackwell:
So, uh, Omisade Burney-Scott, hosts “The Black Girl's Guide to Surviving Menopause,” described as “a multimedia project seeking to curate and share the stories and realities of black women and femmes over 50.” That is described as an excavation of the things that you need to know, but we're never told. It's the guide we wish we all had access to, no matter our age. And then we have women like journalist Tamsen Fadal, who produced a documentary called The M Factor to, and I quote, “Shine a light on the unspoken challenges women face during menopause, revealing the gaps in medical education, the disparities in treatment and the true impact on our physical and mental health. This film is about empowering every woman to take control of her health and advocate for change.” and in the United States you can currently watch that for free on PBS, and this is interesting because this documentary they've actually…it's accredited, so healthcare providers who watch this can get like credit towards their-.

Laura Camien:
Oh interesting, it can be one more hour of their menopause training.

Susan Blackwell:
So then they'll have two hours. Two hours,

Susan Blackwell:
So you know, on this podcast, we sometimes ask what do we make of it, what are we going to do with this? And so, first I just want to say, if you feel like this may be something that you're experiencing or something that somebody you love or care about is experiencing, or you just want to be an informed person, go out, go forth and learn, learn, learn, learn, read about it, watch, discuss, share information. Talk to a doctor who is trained in menopause. Who is trained in menopause. I had to search for mine, but I found her and she knows me and we talk, and I know that when I see her she's not like…I read the notes quickly to remind myself who this person is.

Laura Camien:
Mhmm.

Susan Blackwell:
We talk. She has adjusted my hormone therapy two or three times now, as we try to like, dial it in and we try to get back to good old Susan again. I want you to know that perimenopause and menopause is simply a profound hormone shift. But, to quote Dr. Kelly Casperson, who is featured in the M Factor documentary that Tamsen Fadal produced, “We've done hormone shifts before. We do it in puberty, we do it with our periods, we do it with pregnancy. This is another life event, not some unique and devastating thing that we've never dealt with before.” So thank you for that, Dr Kelly Kasperson. I want to do my part, Laura, to normalize this discussion for humans and for creatives, and it can feel fraught, because it can be unexpected, mysterious. It's tied up with ageism and sexism and cultural taboos and gender equality. It can feel shameful and negative, but I want to break through that for myself as a human and as an artist. I'm not fucking playing anymore.

Laura Camien:
Yes, If that's a side effect, I like it.

Susan Blackwell:
Spiciness is a side effect. You may have heard me say—I know you have, Laura, listeners you may have heard this as well there's a golden thread that runs through all of my creative work. It is my purpose and it is to free myself and anyone who wants to come along for the ride to free creativity, to free self-expression, to free laughter, to free understanding, to free connection. In the M Factor documentary, which, did I mention, you can watch for free on PBS, Dr. Wen Shen says, “Menopause can actually be viewed as freedom. Freedom from having menstrual cycles, freedom from the fear of getting pregnant,” –which sidebar in this day and age, yes— “women should celebrate the wisdom and the knowledge that is gained from the decades lived and carry herself with pride that she has made it through and has a lot to give.” On TikTok, a content creator named Kimberly Beatty posted this: There is a Native American saying that says at her first bleed she's introduced to her power. During her bleeding years she practices her power and at menopause she becomes that power.

Laura Camien:
Why did that make me want to cry?

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, Kimberly Beatty continues, “So, while many are focusing on the decline and the deficiency that happens in a woman's body during the change, I want to let you know, and I'm reminding myself, that you are walking into your greatest season of power yet.” Those are Kimberly Beatty's interpreting an Ojibwe saying. That is my spark today. We are walking into the greatest season of power yet.

Laura Camien:
Mmm, mmm, mmm. Yes, Susan Blackwell, yes.

Susan Blackwell:
It's a lot.

Laura Camien:
It is a lot, and I've seen you go through a lot, but for you to end on that note and for you to be feeling that sense of empowerment that you created for yourself because you went out and found this information, you had to seek it out, you had to—

Susan Blackwell:
You know they're not making it easy on us–

Laura Camien:
But you did that and I hope that you give yourself credit for doing that, and now you're sharing it with others. And I appreciate it.

Susan Blackwell:
When I sat down to write the spark today, I felt kind of overwhelmed because, it's….you know, I'm still in it…Like this is, I'm up in my lived experience of this. We have not passed through to the other side yet and I felt pretty overwhelmed, but by the time I found Kimberly sharing that Ojibwe saying with me, reminding me that we're walking into our greatest season of power, and I can feel what Kimberly is talking about here. I can feel that I have to say. I texted Nathan and I was just like let me pull up the text. I'm going to tell you exactly what I said to Nathan. “I feel determined that we should do what we need to do so we can feel better. Life is too good for this suffering.” And I was like that's right. And I am on my way, Like I have made great strides.

Laura Camien:
Yes, it has taken a lot of work on your part, not just learning and researching, but application of all the various attempts that you have made to, you know, find the answer, um, and then find something that would be helpful, and then various amounts of medication et cetera. It's just like holy shit.

Susan Blackwell:
And all of this rests on the foundation of an enormous amount of privilege that I have. I am a white woman who has health insurance in the United States.

Laura Camien:
That's right.

Susan Blackwell:
And it's still been a project. It's still been a project. It's still been a project. But anything I can do to make somebody else's life easier, whether it's you, Laura Camien, or you listener, somebody that you love listener.

Laura Camien:
I am here for it. Yes, I am here for it. I'm so thankful for it because I feel like I learn from you on the daily, and I'm feeling like…I'm also thinking about those women who started podcasts and education series dedicated entirely to this, like they, are doing God's work. I truly, I believe so, and on another podcast episode somewhere someday we can talk more about like. I just don't think it's a coincidence that in this season of power this is the hormonal change that we have neglected. You know, nobody has issues with hormonal changes for teenagers, hormonal changes with pregnant women—

Susan Blackwell:
Yes, in the documentary they're like…it's celebrated. It's celebrated when these changes happen, and there's, you know, baby showers and gender reveal parties, and even celebrations of girls getting their period.

Laura Camien:
And things that are also treated as charming and funny like…a pickle craving pickles and ice cream, or like, the behaviors of a woman whose hormones are changing while pregnant are teased and kind of made fun of in a funny way. It's tolerable, it's funny. It's also, they know, temporary and then cut to…in menopause.

Susan Blackwell:
It's not as cute.

Laura Camien:
Not as cute, not as celebrated. And the suggestions of you know what they've come up with in the past. I'm not impressed by the institutionalizing women who you know they just can't handle, because they now have opinions and are expressing the things that they are unhappy about or aren't feeling well about, and it's either that or remove, you know, the frontal lobe. Yeah, like it just didn't seem like they really gave it their all there.

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, yeah, friends, go watch that documentary. Thank you, Tamsen Fadal, you're doing God's work. Oh my God.

Laura Camien:
Thank you and thank you, Susan. What a great spark.

Susan Blackwell:
Friends. That's it. I'm going to climb down off my menopause soapbox and say that this episode of the Spark File was made on the lands of the Lenape and the Mohican people and, as always, we hope it put another bunch of menopausal sparks in your spark file. Listen, if there's a spark that you'd like us to explore, or if you'd like to learn more about how to coach with us to accomplish your creative goals, you can email getcreative@ thesparkfile .com or reach us through our website, thesparkfile .com.

Laura Camien:
We will even happily take your feedback, but you know the price of admission. First, you have to share a creative risk that you've taken recently.

Susan Blackwell:
You can follow us on social @the SparkFile and be sure to subscribe, rate and five-star review this podcast. It really helps other listeners to find us. Also, if you like this podcast, we hope you'll share it with people that you love. And if you didn't like it, I again… I just say I just don't, I don't care. I do not care.

Laura Camien:
There she is. There she is. That a girl!

Susan Blackwell:
There's that spicy menopausal Susan.

Laura Camien:
Spicy Susan. I like her a lot. If anything lights you up and gets your creative sparks flying, you know that we're writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door. It's your turn to take that spark and fan it into a flame.

Susan Blackwell:
You know you got to take it

Both:
And make it!

Susan Blackwell:
Bye.

Laura Camien:
Bye. Thank you for that Suze.

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