Join The Joiners

Lately it feels like so many of us are longing for belonging, but finding it harder than to connect. But why?  In this week’s episode of The Spark File podcast, we dig in to find the answer. 

Join us as Laura examines the work of social scientist Bob Putnam, whose book Bowling Alone: the Collapse and Revival of American Community connects the decline of American social organizations, guilds, and community spaces with an increase in isolation and a greater political and personal divide. The 2023 Netflix Documentary Join or Die, which digs into the “half-century story of America’s civic unraveling,” re-examined Putnam’s work with a lens on contemporary struggles.

Turns out the answer is pretty simple: we need to reconnect in a meaningful way. Maybe you’re looking for a service organization, a community center, or a coaching community (like this one!) Wherever you can find (or rediscover) community, you might also find a greater sense of belonging. These connections are how we move through the most significant individual and collective problems. Listen on to hear our thoughts on how we move forward toward reconnecting in measurable and meaningful ways. As far as we’re concerned, it’s time to join the club!

Doors are open for our transformational 6 month program, BLAZE. Our next cohort begins February 6. Get all the information you need HERE

Chapters

• 0:00 The Spark File Podcast
• 7:28 The Power of Community and Democracy
• 23:15 The Importance of Building Community
• 31:32 Igniting Creative Sparks

Transcript

The Spark File Podcast Transcript
Season 5, Episode 11: Join the Joiners

Susan Blackwell:
Welcome to The Spark File where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart, creative people don't go it alone. 

Laura Camien:
I'm Laura Camien.

Susan Blackwell:
And I'm Susan Blackwell, and we are creativity coaches who help people clarify and accomplish their creative goals.

Laura Camien:
Hey, you should know that just by listening to this podcast, you are joining a warm and wonderful clan of creatives.

Susan Blackwell:
But hold up, you might be asking yourself what exactly is a spark file?

Laura Camien:
A spark file is a place where you consistently collect all of your inspirations and fascinations. Every episode, we're going to reach into our spark files and exchange some sparks, and from time to time, we're going to talk to some folks who spark us too.

Susan Blackwell:
And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take some of those sparks of inspiration and make something of your own. So, without further ado, let's open up the Spark File. Laura Camien!

Laura Camien
Oh Suze, how are you doing? 

Susan Blackwell
I'm well. Am I to understand that you shall be sharing a spark with me?

Laura Camien:
I shall be sharing a spark with you, and today it's really…I don't know. I'm excited to share this with you because this spark has been kind of rattling around in my brain for many months now but in recent weeks and due to recent events, it has kind of come into full focus and full feeling. It was one of those like here's a half of a spark, and now I see now I see the whole picture.

Susan Blackwell: 
Ah, I’m excited.

Laura Camien: 
Yeah, I'm excited to tell you about it because I think I mentioned this little bit. A few months ago, two of my lovely friends at Little Island in New York City invited me to a talk by playwright Suzan-Lori Parks, and I think I told you like there was about 14 different things that she said that sparked me. It was, she was incredible, incredible. And on this particular day, she was talking with Majora Carter, a real estate developer, an urban revitalization strategy consultant, also a MacArthur fellow and Peabody award-winning broadcaster.

Susan Blackwell: 
Wow!

Laura Camien:
So there was some accomplished ladies on the stage and I did not realize that, in addition to being a Tony award, pulitzer Prize winning playwright, Suzan-Lori Parks is also hugely into urban revitalization. She was talking, among other things, but the one that relates to this spark is that she was talking about the value of communal spaces, the library and the  like. If and when a natural disaster hits, statistically fewer people die in those neighborhoods than in the neighborhoods that do not have a community center, and the reasons, like one, seems obvious. Of course, there's a place to go if you need to go somewhere.
Susan Blackwell: 
Right

Laura Camien: 
But number two, even when you are not there, those people who see you on a regular basis, who you gather with. They're the ones who will say hey, we haven't seen Joe in a day or two. Let's go check on Joe.
Susan Blackwell:
Yes!

Laura Camien: 
So knowing the people in your neighborhood can literally save your life. It can reduce the risk of premature death by like 29%, which is on par with like the effects of smoking or obesity yes. So if you're like a lifelong smoker or you're socially isolated, same risk. But in contrast, people who engage with their communities tend to live longer. One long-term study found that strong social connections can boost life expectancy by as much as 50%. And then so that's been rattling around for a little while. And then, more recently, when the news of the election results arrived and you and I felt a very real need to connect with each other and connect with our Spark File community. Yeah, and our community members started to reach out, checking on us, checking on each other and expressing a desire to be together. Once we gathered, even online, we all made space for each other's really, really big feelings, and there was no feeling that was wrong or unacceptable. Some people were numb, in denial or disassociation. Some were angry, ready to take up the fight get to work. Some like myself, weepy and sleepy, like I just want to cry it out and then I want to get some good sleep. That's it. I always feel better after that. 

Susan Blackwell:
I just also have to add that when you announced that you felt weepy and sleepy, there emerged in the chat a whole host of other dwarves there was Weepy and Sleepy.

Laura Camien:
Favorite disney

Susan Blackwell:
– and like groggy and foggy, like there were all these other ones.

Laura Camien: 
Yeah, so clever, but yeah, I always sometimes it's just very intentional like I need to figure out can I watch something or listen to something that will make me cry, and then I then I go sleep, just weep a little and sleep a little. But the point is we were all together and validating all of the human emotions that that come up and supporting each other, and I was once again reminded of the value and the vital nature of community, and it's not just a nice to have, it's essential.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yeah.

Laura Camien: 
So, as it turns out, I'm learning that being a part of a community can not only save our individual lives and increase our wellbeing, it can actually save democracy.

Susan Blackwell:
I'm interested.

Laura Camien: 
Okay, lean in Suze. So I learned a lot of this from the documentary Join or Die, which is currently on Netflix. I don't know if you've seen it or not, I have not. Oh my goodness. So it turns out that way, back in the mid nineties, a social scientist and I fucking love that there are social scientists Can I just say come on, a social scientist—

Susan Blackwell: 
Who would you rather make out with? A social scientist or a historian?

Laura Camien: 
God, why do you? Give me these tough choices, tough choices.. So a social scientist named Bob Putnam started to sound the alarm about our democracy. This is in the mid-90s. To sound the alarm about our democracy this is in the mid-90s. In the mid-90s, Suze, he wrote a paper about how Americans were joining fewer and fewer clubs. And by clubs he meant everything from book clubs.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yes!

Laura Camien:
Yeah, ring a bell? Bowling clubs, religious clubs, the Elks Lodge, the Optimist Club, all the rest of them. And then it's funny because in the documentary they talk about how he wrote this paper. It made a big splash.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yes!

Laura Camien: 
But then people—a little backlash. They were like, oh, that's not true, you didn't think about this, this and this. And so he was truly bothered by this criticism and he was like…I'm going to dig in further. He spent five more years researching, doubling down on, like all of his outcomes were like no, it's actually happening. And it's still happening. The decline is still, you know, in the works. So in 2000, he published the book Bowling Alone, and Bowling Alone is all about the decline in America's social capital.

Susan Blackwell: 
Laura Camien. I heard him being interviewed on NPR and I am so, so excited you're doing this spark.

Laura Camien: 
Listen, I was just like wow, this is a hot topic and it's resonating within me. So what is social capital? You say social capital refers to the networks, norms and social trust that enable society to function effectively. Whether that is joining a bowling league, participating in local organizations, volunteering or simply engaging in face-to-face interactions. These activities weave the bonds that form communities, and Bob Putnam tried to warn people.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yeah.

Laura Camien:
Many people took notice, Susan, in this documentary, the Clintons, Pete Buttigieg, Priya Parker they're all in this documentary. Like his work really moved them. 


Susan Blackwell:
Yes! 

Laura Camien:
And all of them understood the significance of this decline, this decline. One of the most poignant stories in the documentary that he tells is Bob talks about seeing JFK speak in his inauguration in the 1960s and he heard him say live, you know, on stage with his own ears he heard JFK say, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” 

Susan Blackwell:
Wow.

Laura Camien:
And this is going to get me a little bit choked up, because Bob talks about how he heard that, as like I thought he was speaking right to me. I have skills and I need to ask myself how can I use them to, you know, for the powers of good? And he said that he heard it as reverie. You know that music that's like um, Charge!... he was like. It felt to me like he's saying we're moving forward, we're going out there to get it done, we're doing it like it's a call to a new era. Yeah, that's how he heard it and he dedicates his life to it. Right, and he applies his skills in the best way. He knows how and and what he thinks he believes can help America. And he then in this documentary is like, in retrospect, what happened right after that is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  was shot. People fought against integration and civil rights and consumerism and individualism grew and what's in it for me grew and “What's in it for me?” grew, and you know we continue down a really dark path to where we are today. And he says, looking at it now, it wasn't reverie, it was taps, it was you know, the end of an idea. It was signaling like the decline of our country. Ooh, that was... It was to me like the most powerful moment in this documentary, because he gets really choked up talking about it too.

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, I've heard… When I heard him speak he was so filled. He I don't know if he's actually said this or if I thought this it's been a minute since I heard it but he either said or I thought, he's like the person in a scary movie who's trying to warn everybody of what's coming and nobody will listen, nobody will pay attention, and it's like attempts are futile.

Laura Camien: 
Yes, and he really did make a splash on multiple occasions over the last 25, 30 years. And yet here we are, and I want to stress something because I'm going to talk about how he talks about clubs and the heyday of clubs and associations, et cetera. He isn't over-romanticizing, like, the 1950s. He's not advocating like we get women back in the kitchen and men back in the Elks Club. He's advocating for all kinds of gatherings because they are all useful. Again, he's saying our participation in communal activities isn't just nice to have, it's the lifeblood of a healthy, functioning democracy. So why does community hold this power? Why is it so influential? Bob laid out all this evidence in the book and it's all talked about in the documentary, but the evidence shows that this decline in civic engagement was making people unhappier and increasing their distrust in the government.

Susan Blackwell:
Hmm. 

Laura Camien:
Put simply, the data showed that the more we withdraw from communal life, the more we fracture the very fabric that holds us together. Why is that? Here's a few reasons. One is how we treat each other is based on social agreement, as they explain it, like if you cheat someone and that someone has a social network, people are going to hear about it, because I have more to lose by people hearing that I'm a cheat. I'm more likely to be honest. It will keep me honest, but it grows from there. When you're part of a community, I'm not going to cheat you. I'm going to be nice to you, even if I don't know you, simply because I know that you're a member of this community. You're also a member of the same community that I'm a member of, and it produces trust and the knowing of each other. Oh Suze, it just made me think, and this documentary doesn't go. It does not go into all of the nooks and crannies of the online nature of our lives. Now, I think there's other documentaries that do that well enough, but it makes me think about, like, the cruel things that people say and do online because there's no consequence. You know, we're not a member of the same community. Online, your people are never going to know me. I might not even have my real name there, you know, but when you and your neighbors, you know, are meeting up for a book club or a religious gathering, a picnic, anything, people are going to know and I could be ousted if I don't treat people well.

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah

Laura Camien:
So clubs teach us how to treat each other and in many cases, they teach us they actually teach us how democracy works Voting on things as a group, speaking in front of the group, making a case for things. The skills that we need to engage in civic life are practiced and polished in communal spaces. We learn to debate, compromise, empathize and collaborate, not on grand stages, but within our local meetups, our hobby groups, our volunteer efforts. And a society that lacks these touch points risks becoming polarized. That lacks these touch points risks becoming polarized, mistrustful and disengaged. Research has shown that individuals who participate in community activities are more likely to vote, volunteer and engage in civic duties. This sense of belonging is what keeps democratic systems vibrant and resilient, and when we don't participate in these things and learn how to engage with each other, a distrust of the government can set in.

Laura Camien:
I do want to acknowledge that some of the clubs of the past did not have values that we would like to continue. I think it's good that they died. There's a few more I wouldn't mind seeing die out, but many of the clubs that go back decades stood for values that we could use more of. Now. I think I don't know if I ever told you this, suze, but when Wes and I had our mid-century home which we loved so much. I went in search of original mission and value statements from some of the clubs and organizations that existed in the 50s. Really I did, and I framed them and I put them up. So I had the 4-H club, the Optimist club, the Rotary club, and I found them and I framed them and they were up in the house. I still have them, I'm sure, but I don't have the wall space right now. Wow, but just to share, and I love them, like they were meaningful to me and I remember being young and I wasn't a member of… I was a member of 4-H but I wasn't a member of those like older man's clubs obviously but I was aware of them and there was a heightened sense, I guess, for me of these, these values. So, just as an example, just values that were once agreed upon and upheld among groups of people, I want to share with you the four-way test that they used in the Rotary Club. This is the one that I have framed this Rotary Club when they were deciding the most ethical way to act or speak. The four questions of the Rotary Club's four-way test are: Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? And if it did not pass that four-way test, you did not speak it or proceed. And as I read, like, this crap that I'm seeing people post online, I think, my God, we have fallen down a dark hole.

Susan Blackwell: 
It does not pass the Rotary Club four-way test.

Laura Camien: 
It does not pass it. I mean, can you imagine how different our lives would be if we checked, even with ourselves? Just checking, is it the truth? Will it benefit all involved. Is it fair to everybody involved? Again, I don't love that some of these clubs began as men only, but I am inspired by the idea of some of the values that they attempted to uphold. And without clubs and organizations with bylaws and agreed upon missions, we are missing something.  What is fascinating is to go back further in time, when our country was just being established. Alexis de Tocqueville,, a Frenchman that came to study America in the 1830s, reported back. This is a quote. “Wherever, at the head of some new undertaking, you see the government in France or a man of rank in England, in the United States, you would be sure to find an association.” Clubs and associations literally built our country. So how did we get to the place where people became more individualized and less likely to be joiners? 

Susan Blackwell:
I have an idea.

Laura Camien:
You do? I've got some and I'm going to share. And I also reflected on like when did I start? I was in high school. I was a member of everything I mean—

Susan Blackwell: 
President of everything.

Laura Camien: 
Well, or the secretary, or the vice president, or something of everything–

Susan Blackwell:
Same yeah, same, same same. Exactly.

Laura Camien:
Yeah, um, but I do know there was a time where I can. I totally feel that I was like, I don't know, I'm not really a joiner, I'm, I don't want to join things like that One. I was busy with my work real busy, and when I wasn't busy working, I was busy creating things. No, which is a community in and of itself.

Susan Blackwell:
Which is a community. Yes, yes, yes, for sure.

Laura Camien:
Yeah, but do you want to say your theory before–

Susan Blackwell:
Well, I think the introduction, the invention of the internet and social media and people being sort of more isolated and more inclined to have their and I'm not judging anybody else…engaging in that way where it's almost like a faux-sense of community?

Laura Camien:
Mhmm. Yup! Some people are absolutely certain that the problem is technology. Now it goes back even further, before the internet, because the decline in engagement really coincides with televisions arriving in everyone's home.

Susan Blackwell:
TV! Another kind of technology? Yep.

Laura Camien:
Exactly. So yeah, television, shiny objects, social media. Yeah, so the decline began in the sixties and it continues to this day and, as we well know, technology is only increased and only absorbed more of our time. The issue could also be attributed to increased work pressures, time at work, expectations, urban sprawl, suburban growth, gaps in income, fragmentation, polarization all of that one person in the documentary mentioned. They didn't expand on this too much. Again, it doesn't go super dark, but one person mentioned the very real possibility that the government wanted these clubs and gatherings to lessen because they were increasing the power of the groups involved. When people gather, they gain power. So, civil rights were increasing. 

Susan Blackwell:
Yup. Unions.

Laura Camien:
Women's rights were increasing, labor unions were increasing. They were all gaining ground, thanks in part by the strength of their organizations.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yeah.

Laura Camien: 
So whether it was intentionally discouraged or whether we got seduced into thinking that our social media connections would be enough, I don't know. We don't really know. But it's important to know that building community is not just about like being a part of a big network of clubs, big memberships, global groups. Community connection can be small, it can be intimate, it can be spontaneous. It can be the neighbor who checks on you when you're sick yes, neighbor who checks on you when you're sick. It could be the book club that becomes a safe space for connection, art class where strangers bond over shared creative frustrations and creative joys. It’s logging into Zoom and seeing your spark file community of creators supporting each other, Like every bit of participation counts. So what do we make of it Suze? The answer might lie in small, deliberate acts of reconnection starting a conversation with a neighbor, join a class or a group that interests you, or start yes, Sign up to volunteer, invite others into spaces where they can contribute and feel seen. These actions really are the threads that weave us back into a collective. They remind us that in joining, we are also choosing to live more fully. I also think that advocating that social sciences, political science, government continue to be taught in schools, that libraries and community centers stay open and we have to fight for some of those we have to fight for our libraries right now. We have to fight like hell, and we want them to stay open and we want them to be able to offer clubs and associations. In a world where so much drives us toward disconnection, technology, busy schedules, the very structure of our modern lives, we do have the power to choose differently and I feel like this is a moment where it is essential for us to listen to Bob Putnam, really listen to the warnings, Like we're already. We've we've seen what's happened. I think that we've got to recognize community is not optional. It's a cornerstone of our existence and when we engage, we don't just gain support for ourselves. We contribute to a society capable of preserving democracy and nurturing the members of our society. In the spirit of Join or Die, I want to say let's choose to join, let's be joiners, let's build, share, sustain the spaces that keep us alive and thriving, and remember that in community we don't just survive, we flourish.

Susan Blackwell: 
Laura, I love this. I cannot wait to watch this documentary, and it is further reminder and evidence how critical this is, what you're talking about, both to our individual well-being and health, but also to the well-being and health of our social fabric of the nation, I think about when, even the conversation we had about moral distress and the powerlessness, the element of powerlessness that comes from all of us feeling like we're our own little island.

Laura Camien: 
We're individuals and we don't have any power to do anything, but collectively we do. Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”

Susan Blackwell:
Ah, fabulous, Fabulous.

Laura Camien:
Yeah. I think maybe, like, the most important thing we can do right now is remind ourselves that we are not alone and let other people know that they are not alone.

Susan Blackwell: 
All right, I'll take that up!.

Laura Camien: 
Ditto. I'll take that up. I've been thinking a lot about like, all right, Camien, and what are you going to do? 

Susan Blackwell:
Yeah, we'll report in on what clubs we've joined. I feel like it's so interesting because at the outset of any season of the Spark File, there's sort of a you and I are just surprising each other with sparks and I feel like this season I am really seeing a trend, maybe, of what's on our mind and what's–do you know what I mean? 

Laura Camien:
I do know what you mean because I have a list of sparks that I'm like great, I've got plenty here when it comes time to write for this season, and so much has transpired that has blown us sideways, flaming curve balls, and that we feel like we need to respond to, first for ourselves and then maybe bring it here. But yeah it's, it really is, um, it does feel like it's responsive to kind of the things that are happening around us the moment.

Susan Blackwell:
Laura, that was wonderful. Thank you for that, and I maybe I'm going to go watch that documentary now.

Laura Camien:
Watch that documentary! It is interesting. There are plenty of places where I feel like it could go deeper, but also I could name other documentaries who've already done that deep work. This really stays on track talking about this thing.

Susan Blackwell: 
But also, if we want to go deeper, we can dive into Bob Putnam's work.

Laura Camien: 
Oh yeah, he has several books…Making Democracy Work, Bowling Alone yeah, all of it.

Susan Blackwell: 
Yeah, thank you for that, Laura. That’s wonderful.

Laura Camien:
My pleasure.

Susan Blackwell: 
Ooh friends, that's it. This episode of the Spark File was made on the lands of the Lenape and the Mohican people and, as always, we hope it put another big old bunch of sparks in your file. Listen to me: If there's a spark you'd like us to explore or if you'd like to learn more about how to coach with us to accomplish your creative goals, you can email getcreative@ thesparkfile. com or reach us through our website, thesparkfile. com.

Laura Camien: 
We will even happily take your feedback. Please send it in. But know that there is a price of admission. First you've got to share a creative risk that you have taken recently.

Susan Blackwell:
You can follow us on social @theSparkFile and be sure to subscribe, rate and five-star review this podcast. It really helps other listeners to find us. Also, if you like this podcast, we hope you'll share it with people that you love, and if you didn't like it, go join a different club.

Laura Camien: 
If something lights you up and gets your creative sparks flying, we're writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door. It is your turn to take that spark and fan it into a flame. 

Susan Blackwell:
You know you gotta take it…

Both:
And make it!